jeffsoesbe (jeffsoesbe) wrote,

[wip] A bit from "Breaking Through"

I'm just wiped after the 5 hours of revision today. I don't think there will be any new words, nor any Critters critique. It's just XM Radio Channel 110 "The Joint" (reggae) and a Snakebite.

But here's a couple bits from "Breaking Through" that I actually liked.

The sound grew louder and louder, a hissing snarling growl, until it was a typhoon wind in his ears that drove out all other thoughts. He lost all control of his body and slumped off the chair onto the floor. Primal fear overtook Jimmy D and he screamed, loud and hard, as the crash and burn began.

It wasn't a cop, just a tall man. He was big, rugby player big. The man's hair was an all-white shock that shot straight up. He wore a pair of round mirrored sunglasses that reflected Jayakumar's grime-streaked face in the harsh neon streetlights.

The man held Jayakumar's arm tight; his fingers dug into Jimmy's wrist and very precisely dealt out discomfort on the edge of pain.

"Are you a thief, son?" the man said, slow and deliberate. His Hindi, tinged with a British accent, was very good.

"No," Jayakumar grunted through clenched teeth.

"No you're not. A real thief doesn't get caught."

The bed creaked as Mai got up. He wanted to reach out and pull her back down, pull her back to the bed and hold her close, but he didn't. Instead, he watched as she got dressed and enjoyed the contrast of the black leather against her pale skin and how the tightness emphasized the cuts and angles of her body. In her armor she looked unapproachable, distant, alone, but now he felt he had a special connection with her. He'd been with the real Mai now.

"Mai, what do you want?"

"Same thing everyone wants. More than what we have." She reached down, messed up his hair, gave him a quick kiss that smelled of smoke. "You'd better keep at it. See you later, Jimmy."

The door clicked shut behind her. Jimmy waited a while, enjoying the lingering feel of Mai's presence in the room. Eventually he got up, put his clothes on, and ate some dinner before he went back to his simulations.

Tags: breaking in, wip, writing

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened