jeffsoesbe (jeffsoesbe) wrote,

SacSpecFic takes on "The Dybbuk's Moll"`

SacSpecFic, my local writing and critique group, took on the part of "The Dybbuk's Moll" that I've completed so far. There was some good feedback, some understandable confusion, some favorite parts, and some catching of poor wordsmanship.

But overall, the response was positive even though it's a much less "upbeat" story than I've shared in past meetings. And the general sentiment was that a story that opens with a Jewish private detective doing kabbalistic magic to make a golem that will kill a mobster, well that's something you don't see every day. That's good. I don't want to produce copycat works :-)

The opening
"In two hours," I told the golem, "Rico Dominarden is a dead man."

Francie's first appearance
I forgot about the aches and pains in my beat up body, forgot about my drink, forgot about everything but Francie.
"You got it bad, Chaim," Nora said. "This isn't going to end well."

Talking with the cop
McKowsky's voice carried all the way out the door and through the wind. "Believe it, Rabinek. We're not done here."

Tags: dybbuk's moll, fiction, wip

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