Working through the cleanup rewrite of "This Moment". Cleaning up scenes, making everything a little tighter, adding bits here and there. I think it's starting to come together. Hopefully I can get through this version tomorrow, then do a "full read and tweak" version before sending it off.
There are still parts that really get to me, even after months with the story. I think that's a good thing.
From another journal I happened to be perusing:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next five sentences on your LJ along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag five people.
I don't know what "tag" means in LJ (I'm still a newbie), but here's my result.
Book: "The Big Knockover" by Dashiell Hammett
Page 123 happens to be in the story "The King Business". I assume I start with sentence 5.
A thin, stooped man with glasses freckled by raindrops translated the little man's story into English, "He said the artillery has betrayed us, and guns are being mounted in the government buildings to sweep the plaza at daybreak." There was an odd sort of hopefulness in his voice, and he added, "In that event we can, naturally, do nothing."
"We can die," Lionel Grantham said gently.
There wasn't the least bit of sense to that crack. Nobody was here to die.
Man, I like Dashiell Hammett.