Beyond its regular appearance on just about any list of Worst Christmas Songs, it is also a rather creepy song when you start to think about it. Just a slight tweak in the lyrics and it truly becomes "stalker-iffic".
Start out like this:
"Met my old lover in the grocery store
It was the fourteenth one I tried
Crept up behind her and I pulled her sleeve
She turned to me, then cried."
(You can take it from here. Make sure to mention "restraining order" and "true love forever")